Techologically Unbalanced

Technology annoys me. I hate the way it insists on evolving and being responsible for new and covetable items that I feel I need to have, even though I was perfectly happy with what I already had until this new thing came along. After years of complaining about texting and how useless I am at it, I finally traded up to a phone with a full keyboard that makes texting so much easier. It’s also great for a quick email check or internet search when I’m away from a computer. It's perfect. Well, it was perfect until somebody let me play with their iPhone. Now I want one of those instead. Or as well as, if I could think of a way to justify both. This is annoying because I was really enjoying this phone. It’s fun to use and is so far above anything I've had previously, and had I not been introduced to the iPhone I would be none the wiser. But I've got the idea of the shiny new gadget into my head, so what was a great phone now seems like second best.

Of course there’s always the fear that I will give up something I’m happy with only to find the new item is just not as good as the old one. I had a great DVD player. It was stupidly cheap, but it played DVDs (which is all I was asking, to be fair) and it would remember my place even when I turned it off or took the disc out. I realise this is quite standard technology, but I'd always get just a little excited to have it pick up from where I left off with no scanning backwards and forwards and trying to remember where I was up to. Then I decided to get a DVD recorder for those rare times that I actually wanted to record something. I couldn’t justify the cost of a PVR, so I figured this was a reasonable alternative. It works fine and does what I need it to do, but it doesn’t save my place like the old one did. Now every time I have to waste time trying to find where I got up to I just get annoyed all over again. And on a much more superficial level, it’s not as pretty as the old one. That one was sleek and silver and unobtrusive. This one’s black and clunky and takes up more space. While it is "better" in theory because it records, I still miss the old one. Although I am pleased it found a good home - I passed it on to my mother who’s also very impressed when it saves her place, so at least its legacy lives on.

Now, as much as I want the iPhone, the reality is my phone works fine, is still relatively new and makes me happy, so why can’t I get past the overwhelming desire for a different one? And it would also mean retiring my beloved iPod which despite being almost four years old, has never given me a moment’s concern. So this leaves me with a difficult dilemma - do I move on to something better (in theory), and leave the past behind, even though I've been happy with it up until now? Or do I stick with what I’ve got which, although slightly outdated and imperfect, I’ll be very sad let go? And why must stupid technology change and improve just to torture me, anyway? I'm so happy when I don't know any better. In my ideal world I’d still be content not sending text messages while listening to records and making mix tapes that I could play on my awesome Sony Walkman.

Un-relaxation

So I went away this past weekend, and it was lovely. We stayed in a beautiful house and I spent lots of quality time with my gorgeous niece and nephew, which I love. And it was very relaxing, which I also love. But it also helped confirm something that I’ve suspected for a while: I’m really bad at going on holiday. I think the main problem lies in the fact that I don’t actually need to relax. I’m very good at relaxing, I‘ve had lots of practice, and I have no need to “get away” from my usual life to do it. I don’t have a stressful job or difficult home life, and I’m pretty content with my day to day activities. Going on the kind of holiday where I sit in a nice house or fancy hotel always seems like a great idea, but great location and company aside, I‘ve decided that it‘s just not the right kind of holiday for me anymore. For a start there’s usually no internet access, or if there is it comes at a premium price. I’ve long given up on feeling guilty for the amount of time I spend online. Why would I deprive myself of something I enjoy so much just because it might seem a little unsociable? Especially considering I’m generally unsociable by nature anyway. Still, I think I subconsciously feel that I need to be punished for my internet interest and I must take any opportunity to go without. Which I suppose isn’t so bad in theory, but the internet is responsible for the vast majority of my entertainment these days, so without it I‘m relegated to whatever‘s on TV or in magazines and newspapers. I would add books, which is normally a great way to pass the time, but I just don‘t read anywhere near as much as I used to, unfortunately. (I suspect the internet is partly to blame for that, too.) I’m also a creature of habit, and I don’t much like leaving my comfort zone. It only takes a lumpy bed or an unruly shower to remind me why being wherever I am is not as good as being at home.

This revelation isn’t all bad, however. I have decided that I just need to take holidays where I actually do things, go places and see stuff. In other words, I need an un-relaxing holiday. I need the kind of holiday that I come home from feeling like I need a holiday to recover from it. I haven’t had one in years, due mostly to financial constraints and increasing laziness as I amble towards middle age. I need to get out and do things more in general, and if I’m going to take the time, energy and expense to travel somewhere, I think it’s time I actually started doing things when I get there. Not that I'll be doing anything too exciting considering I’m probably the least adventurous person you’ll ever meet. My idea of roughing it is staying in a three star hotel, and even that’s pushing my comfort levels. And I’m certainly not the outdoorsy type, so I‘m not going to be climbing mountains or exploring oceans. The aforementioned laziness doesn’t help, either. Regardless of all that, I’m determined that the next time I actually go somewhere on holiday it’s going to be as un-relaxing as possible...without heading too far out of my comfort zone, naturally. Or at least I’m going to spend as much time out of the hotel/house than I do in it, even if it‘s just to wander around shops, visit tourist attractions and sit in restaurants. I have considered the alternative option of just getting a more stressful life to make the relaxing seem more worthwhile, but the un-relaxation method seems like a lot less effort.