Like many people, I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas. I get annoyed when I feel obliged to socialise a lot more than I really want to, often with people I would actively avoid throughout the year. Everywhere is crowded and traffic jams seem to move from weekday peak hours to all day every day. My email is overflowing with "special offers" for useless tat that most sane people would never choose to buy for themselves, but suddenly become a wonderful gift idea for someone else. What should be a joyous time usually ends up being harried and exhausting. But, you know, for all my complaining about Christmas and the peripheral stuff that comes with it, I find it hard not to enjoy it once it comes around. Even the dreaded social whirl is never as bad as I think it will be. Although things have been a little different on the social front this year. So far, due to holidays from work, unforseen dental procedures, and gatherings postponed until January, my Christmas celebrations have been minimal and subdued. This was always what I said I wanted, but in reality it just feels a bit wrong. I believe what I have is a clear case of "careful what you wish for". I will have to remember it next year when I'm complaining in the midst of full-blown celebrations once again.
The one aspect of Christmas I always enjoy is gift giving. Every year I think I'll start early, buy nice but inexpensive gifts and stick to a budget, but I've never actually managed to do any of that. I have even come to enjoy wading through all the extra stuff that only appears in the shops for peak gift-giving occasions so I can get to the things I actually like. It's a challenge, although I'm not sure I always succeed. I have been told several times that I'm hard to buy for, which I don't understand at all. I know it's an overused cliché, and often an insincere one, but I really do believe it's the thought that counts. There's no such a thing as a "bad" gift in my mind. If someone's taken the time and effort to get me something then I'm always touched and appreciative. I think my difficult-to-buy-for reputation comes from the fact that I don't have any more willpower when it comes to buying for myself, either, leaving less options for the thoughtful gift-giver. I'm working on this. Of course I'd be lying if I said I didn't like receiving gifts, but buying for others gives me legitimate reason to shop without feeling guilty, and that in itself is a joy!
This morning I logged on to MySpace to find that Griff from Sighrens had posted a beautifully wistful version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. I was touched to discover he'd recorded it after an email conversation we'd had recently. You can hear it on the Sighrens page, where there's also an accompanying blog that's worth reading. I believe it's one of the loveliest gifts I've ever received, which I think proves I'm not so difficult after all.
Merry Christmas!
