I have no sense of direction. This is not just a throw away statement that means I’m not very good at reading maps or something - I genuinely lack a sense of direction. You know what else? I also have trouble telling left from right. That’s right, I’m admitting it. In public. One of those no brainer things that any five year old can master and I struggle with it. I’m not too bad with my own left or right, although I do have to think about it for a second - I just remind myself that the hand I write with is my right. (Oh God, writing it down makes me sound even more stupid than I thought!) I can usually manage that, but I dread people saying things like “move to my right”. Huh? I have trouble telling my own left from right, how am I supposed to figure out someone else’s?! And north, south, east and west are all good and well, but how am I supposed to know which direction is which? Do people actually know this? How do they know? Seriously. It’s a mystery. Don’t talk to me about where the sun sets or rises, this is of no use to me. And when people talk about their “south (or possibly north?) facing” windows I just nod and smile and pretend to understand what that means, but I don’t. I really, really don’t. Oh, and when I’m talking about somewhere and I point outside, I’m just making a general “out there” kind of gesture, there‘s no reason to correct me and point to me to wherever it really is because it means nothing to me. Also, I don’t care.
I have to admit it is kind of embarrassing when I go somewhere new and I have to ask someone to direct me back home again. Most people seem to think this should be easy, surely you just go back the way you came? Yeah, maybe it should be easy, but not for me. This is mostly a problem while driving, and I do tend to get lost a lot. I always panic, too. I become irrational and I think I’m never going to find my way there - or home, even. The lack of control is frightening. Of course I do always eventually find my way to places and back again, it just may take a lot longer than necessary. If I need to be somewhere important I’ll often go on a reconnaissance mission beforehand to familiarise myself with the journey. Although getting somewhere once is absolutely no guarantee I’m going to be able to find my way there again, but it’s better than doing the trip blind. I think this is also why I often volunteer to drive when I go out with friends - if I’m driving, someone else has to navigate, which is perfect. If someone else drives and I have to navigate, not so perfect. I have managed to get other people as lost as I get myself, which is quite an achievement, I think. And don’t even get me started on shopping centre car parks. It’s great that they have numbers and letters and colours for people like me, but apparently they only work when you remember to look at them before going inside. Several people have suggested getting a Sat Nav (for general driving, not shopping centre car parks), which I‘m really not that keen on. Normally I love gadgets, but they’ve always seemed like a very expensive street directory to me. However I am starting to think it might be a good idea. I do need all the help I can get, and maybe I could even arrive somewhere new without feeling angry, frustrated and teary. That would be nice.
